


It's only love.

by zianourry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Unrequited Love, a bit - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-30
Updated: 2013-01-30
Packaged: 2017-11-27 13:47:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/662686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zianourry/pseuds/zianourry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He wasn’t in love with his best friend, really.<br/>His heart didn’t start pounding and his hands didn’t start sweating when he saw him, really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's only love.

**Author's Note:**

> I totally got the title from Matt Cardle his It's only love. Titles are just really hard, I am always questioning them.

Everyone knew the word love, the silent whispers about butterflies in your stomach and sweaty palms. In the distance it was mostly a fairy tale about the one, a soul mate. Pure happiness making your eyes cloud with bright pink. No one ever told you about the struggles, bee stings that make your heart churn with all the things you have and can’t have, words that make the pink turn into a treacherous red and after that, into a sorrowful blue. They forgot to tell you that it didn’t have to start with great passion; it was something that could slowly nest its way into your body. 

They met on the playground, brown swipes of mud covering their faces and wide, wide grins. That day they declared that they would marry each other. Their mothers, smiling sweetly over the quick connection between the two toddlers. One with eyes so blue and filled with mischief, one so insecure, green eyes hidden behind brown curls. With sand covering their bodies while they baked sand cakes with mud as icing. Later their mothers would look back and laugh. The sound full of wonder and surprise. How could they ever have known how true these words were?

He loved the feeling of his curls tickling his skin. He loved the way his body fits perfectly against his. He loved the way they can communicate without words. He had known that for a decade now. Mind full of memories of adventures and sleepovers. Giggling for hours about everything and nothing. Doing so until his or Harry’s mum came in, eyes tired, threatening to take the other home immediately if they didn’t shut up. 

He loved the way his eyes squint when he lets out that familiar bark of laughter. He loved the way he crushes his body against him when their legs are too tired to stand on. He loved him as a friend. But that was it -a friend- wasn’t it?  
Harry Styles. Hazza. He had been his friend for thirteen years now. They shared everything and now it was time for their final year, hoping to graduate and move on to university. It felt so big, like he needed to grow up, but the fear that caught him every time was awful, he was scared to lose everything that was so dear to him. Terrified to lose his best friend.

He loved it though, that they could do whatever they wanted. They were old enough to drive a car, drink beer and go out until night overflowed into morning. But sometimes it was just so hard to pretend. He would hide in his room until his mum started screaming about hygiene and ‘what was that stench coming from his room?’ After a while he would open the lock and soon enough his door would fly open. Harry standing on the reddish carpet (he wasn’t really sure if that was the colour) with curls like a halo around his head. He would make a choked off noise and flee into his arms, fists banging against his chest while screaming at him. ‘Don’t you dare to do that ever again, just talk to me!’

Until now his life always resolved around Harry. Weeks and months flew by but he was always there, ready to pull some pranks to try and actually do some schoolwork or to watch Disney movies together, secretly of course. And then he went away for a week just before the end of the holidays. He returned with the biggest, brightest smile ever and a girlfriend. Of course each of them had snogged girls before while partying but it had never been like this. He was wearing his heart on his sleeve and his eyes shone so bright when he talked about her and that was what he did a lot, talk about her. He’d seen some pictures and he had met her when she came down on a weekend and that’s where he discovered the biggest problem. He couldn’t hate her. She had smiled at him, introduced herself with a soft voice that made his gut churn a little. He had no reason to hate her and that’s where his common life collapsed around him in something so confusing that it made his head hurt.  
He wasn’t in love with his best friend, really.

His heart didn’t start pounding and his hands didn’t start sweating when he saw him, really.

His body didn’t heat up when he touched him, he had never stared intently at him, he wasn’t a voyeur. He couldn’t be in love because it was Harry, the Harry he’d known for so long.  
He couldn’t be in love because he was Louis, straight as can be and just his best friend.

So why did he feel like a teenage girl when he saw him? Why did his mind go sappy and did his heart start beating erratically? 

Apparently, Louis was in love with his best friend. This resulted into the most painful situation he’d ever been in. Him watching while his secret love went slow dancing with a girl he couldn’t hate even though she was the cause of all the pain. Life had never been fair to him.

-

The lights of the room flickered in the rhythm of the music and all he really wanted to think of was the pink drink he was holding in his hand. Sadly enough his eyes weren’t covered by a pink cloud. He had nodded when he was asked to the club, but right now he wasn’t even sure why he’d done it. To have fun or to torture his own mind.  
‘Careful mate, don’t wanna keep a frown like that on your face, do ya?’  
His face shot sideways where he looked into a pair of scorching blue eyes. ‘Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.’ The guy smiled apologetically and he could hear an Irish accent that lifted the words up into something foreign. 

The guy still looked at him but stopped smiling when he didn’t respond to the words. His face shot in a confused stare but he still introduced himself in a polite manner. ‘Me name is Niall.’  
‘Louis.’ The answer was short and the guy named Niall still had a look of utter confusion on his face. He rapidly explained himself, not wanting to annoy the only person that had spoken to him this evening. ‘The name is Louis, Louis Tomlinson.’ The blonde haired boy smiled widely at those words and suddenly the dark room seemed a lot brighter.  
‘Nice to meet ya, love.’ Louis smiled back, maybe this evening could be so much better than expected.

-  
‘It’s not possible.’ Niall exclaimed with exaggerated movements. The had fell into an easy conversation about their hobbies, screaming a bit to hear each other over the loud music. ‘They have hated each other since they were twelve, those idiots can’t be in love. ‘ He shook his head in indignation. ‘Of course it’s possible, did you feel the chemistry between them in every film.’ Niall was still shaking his head. ‘No, Harry Potter in a relationship with Draco Malfoy, definitely a no.’ Louis rolled his eyes. ‘Well I think -.’ A cough interrupted his sentence and as soon as he looked up he saw the radiant green eyes.  
Louis kept staring until another cough disturbed him. ‘Y- yes, Niall this is Harry, Harry as you could just hear, this is Niall.’ Harry nodded and sent a quick smile towards Niall but turned back again to Louis with a frown. ' Why are you sitting here, Lou?' An awkward grin appeared on Louis' face. ' Because I'm talking to Ni here.' He pointed at Niall’s face. Harry's frown turned into a scowl and he certainly looked displeased. ' So it's Ni now, well I'm glad you two seem to get along.' The sarcasm dripped off his voice and with a sharp turn he left, running right into her arms. Louis could only blink stupidly after Harry’s disappearance, he'd never known this side of Harry Styles, the ugly side. A soft giggle disrupted his thoughts and he suddenly realized that Niall was sitting there, giggling like a fool with a face as red as a lobster.' What?' Louis eyes widened comically. ' Why are you laughing?' Niall only started hiccupping after those words and Louis looked even more confused. ' Are you okay, this isn't because of Harry being rude, is it? Because I know he's no-' Niall simply interrupted his apologies. ' You re-really don't have a clue, do ya?' The words sounded breathless thanks to the constant giggling. ' I do, what?' Niall just grinned widely. 'mate, he’s so jealous he almost looked green, love are you sure you're not dating?'  
And that remark was like a knife stabbed into his heart.  
Louis’ face paled even more even though the lights didn't change and his eyes dropped to the floor. He knew he loved Harry with whole his heart and he knew his love was unrequited. So why had Niall said those words, it hurt because they broke down the walls that he had built and he could feel that tiny flicker of hope inside him. He smiled bitterly. Niall, noticing the way the grey eyes dropped to the ground, hooked a finger under Louis’ chin and slowly lifted his face. ' You want him.' It wasn't a question but a statement. Louis knew he could do exactly as before, hide until Harry came knocking at his door until everything was normal again. But he knew that if he admitted it to anyone other than himself that it would be definite and nothing would be the same again.' So much.'  
' He wants you-.' He quickly put a hand over Niall's mouth. ' Do- don't say that, please.' A whimper escaped his lips and he looked a little terrified. ' Don't give me hope so it can be destroyed later.' Niall's eyes widened. ' I have your number, we're going to talk this week, you and me in a calm environment and you're going to talk.' Louis nodded, his resolve completely destroyed. Niall smiled happily. ' Let's go and get ya drunk, before this whole evening is over, but.' He raised a warning finger. ' Don't ya dare and blame the hangover on me.' Louis could do nothing but laugh at that and he let himself be pulled away willingly to the edge of the bar, where the bartender stood ' Yes we'll have that thing I had last time, when that other thing happened.' The bartender nodded immediately, so Louis knew that the thing had been quite remarkable. 'Let’s do this then.' 

They got drunk, very drunk. Everytime that he had emptied his glass a filled one replaced the empty glass. He knew that he would be feeling sick and awful tomorrow, but he didn’t really care. Maybe for once something would turn out alright, maybe Niall would make sure that he didn’t smack his head on the pavement when he had to go home.  
-

He sighed happily, he couldn’t remember that his blankets were so warm and heavy but it was extremely comfortable. He tried to pull his blankets even closer but they wouldn’t budge. He still felt drowsy and an ache in his head suddenly made its way up so he just locked his arms around them, pulling them closer. While he drifted off to sleep he realized that his blankets were poking him and that was not a normal occurrence. So he did the only thing he could think of, he fled the scene, by rolling off the bed. And really that hurt, a lot.  
The flash of bleach blonde hair and bright blue eyes made him remember the evening before –not really, only little parts of it but he shouldn’t mind that little detail- and soon everything made sense again.  
‘So time for some food, don’t ya think.’

His knowledge seemingly grew that morning. You see, the small Irish man could eat for five full grown men and his fridge could definitely feel that. Also, he didn’t know the idea: being quiet.  
‘But really you should meet Liam, you’ll love him.’ Louis simply raised an eyebrow. ‘Nah, not like that, ‘s got a boyfriend for ‘bout three years now, they’re like glued to each other. So you’ll probably meet Zayn too, he’ll want to come too.’ Louis’ eyebrow still hadn’t lowered.  
‘Don’t look at me like that love, before you know it ‘t won’t go down anymore.’ Louis faced away with a laugh and poured himself another cuppa. ‘So you want to set me up with your friends.’ Niall grinned. ‘Maybe, you’re gonna love them!’ He wasn’t so sure about that.

-

‘So you’re Lou, as our Niall addressed you.’ Two days later Louis sat across two weary eyed boys whose eyes kept flicking from Niall to Louis. ‘Well, actually it’s Louis Tomlinson but Lou is OK if you like it.’ He smiled stunningly at them after those words and Niall softly sniggered into his fist, disguising it as a cough.  
One of the two, called Liam, immediately turned red but Zayn just pulled an uninterested face.  
That morning Niall had knocked on his door to pull him along to a small cafe two blocks from his own home. He’d never seen it before, it looked a normal house when you walked past it. But the interior astonished him. Three large sofas and several comfortably looking chairs, while the middle was littered with small tables, soft music was playing which gave the whole room a comfortable air. Like everyone knew each other, that until he saw the strict faces of two boys looking at him and Niall.  
As you could guess, they turned out to be Niall’s best friends although he sometimes thought that they were actually his parents. Zayn’s stoic appearance had scared him a little at first but as soon as Niall had started talking it completely disappeared. The two boys shone with adoration for the small blonde boy and they were just protective.  
‘Would you like tea or coffee?’ Liam looked uncertain so he quickly smiled. ‘Tea please.’ A nod and Liam made his way towards the back of the cafe. ‘Li, wait!’ Niall followed him with a happy bounce in his step.  
Zayn laughed and tried to explain it to Louis. ‘He’s going to bribe him into buying food for him and Liam can’t say no to Niall.’ Louis laughed. ‘No one can say no to Niall, it’s impossible.’ This time Zayn sent a genuine smile his way, maybe it wasn’t a bad idea to make some new friends. Maybe it was time to let Harry do his own thing, so they could build their separate lives  
-

Sometimes our mind plays the biggest tricks with us. He knew it as soon as he saw Harry again. Everyone thought they had built a wall around them, to be protected from hurt and pain. But they forgot that there was always a window that sometimes had to be opened. And this time the glass had disappeared from the window, all ready for Harry to climb through.

‘I think I’m in love with you.’  
‘Just think?’  
‘I’m in love with you.’  
‘I love you too Lou.’


End file.
